18. NORTH vs SOUTH

The Kama Sutra on the walls of Kajuraho Temple













Indian friends ask if I prefer the North or the South.

Both ends have their attractions, it is the people who will make or break the enjoyment of your stay. This applies to anywhere in the world.

My friends from the South will say the South is better and its people nicer. My friends from the North will say likewise about the North. Most of the Indians in Singapore are from the South and we continue to receive them as immigrants. They come in as IT professionals or are in the finance and banking industry. In my conversations with them, I gather they enjoy their life in Singapore. I meet them at yoga or meditation classes, at other times, during seva work or occasionally, house parties. I observe they enjoy their personal freedom best - freedom to express themselves without constraints, for those so inclined. Singapore has always had a multiracial, multicultural, multireligious, multilingual mix. Racism is confined to a small number of ignorant people, but may rear its ugly head as Singapore lets in large numbers of migrants from mainland China, Myanmar, Nepal, Vietnam and other Asian countries.

Some Indian immigrants came because they wanted their children to enjoy a more rounded education. Singapore's education system is not perfect, but it is always evolving and the authorities are not afraid to change and learn from others. Migrant children adjust very quickly to the Singaporean way of life and many eat only local food and speak English with local expressions. They mix with classmates and neighbours who are of other races and such exposure can only be good. It's an education they will not get should they grow up in India.

The South Indians are more accommodating, less quarrelsome, less aggressive. Unfortunately, in Singapore, they tend to be involved once too often in molest and violent crimes of passion.

I observe for the most part, cities and state goverments in the South seem more progressive. Delhi city center, for instance, as the country's capital, is filthy and a total mess, although there are some suburbs which are quite pleasant. Apart from my friends in the North who are wonderful people - that's why they're my friends - the North Indians by and large, seem more arrogant.

The fairer Indians suffer from a certain superiority complex. In conversations, they will mention they are from the Brahmin class. As if I care.
In their papers, there are ads for brides and grooms in which they describe themselves as fair or coffee coloured (not dark or black), Brahmin or even a certain tribe (tribe?) These are quite entertaining to read.

For a long time now, India has not had a South Indian holding office as Prime Minister. I wonder why. But no worries there, the South Indians have progressed by leaps and bounds and best of all, many speak English, even taxi and some auto drivers, and many shopkeepers, even street vendors selling postcards speak such fluent English. As India rises and takes its place in the global village and its people become global citizens, only those with the right mindset will move ahead.

For many Indians without the opportunity for exposure, or because they don't want to, the world to them will continue to revolve around India and many will remain frogs in the well. 

Response to comment:
A police detective friend with the CID confirmed that many reported molest cases were committed by Indian males - a minority race. Many cases go unreported. In Singapore, molest is categorised as a sex crime, with mandatory jail terms and caning.
 
I've been groped 4 times, 3x by Indian males, once by a Chinese male which became a police case as I was older and wiser and could react and think more calmly. The first time I was just 11 and I can recall it as it is traumatic for a young girl. 

My daughter has had an Indian male pushed his prick against her in a crowded train, she was too shocked to react and too embarrassed to create a scene, there's a first time for everything, it may not be the last as she's young. I've taught her not to give such men any face and to respond with a kick, punch or elbow in the groin region and make it a police case. Men who commit molest are opportunists, they are probably aware that the victims will be too taken aback to know how to react calmly, in any case, its hard to prove if the victim waits to complain. The response has to be immediate.

Over the years, friends/acquaintances/colleagues/relatives have had experiences to share, from flashers to rubbing of the prick against the women's body, to stroking the thigh as one walks pass, 3 of the 5 episodes related were committed by Indian males in Singapore and Malaysia. None had its day in court. The Chinese guy I reported received 3 months in the cooler with 4 strokes.

From the land which gave the world the Kama Sutra and Kajuraho Temple, its men may look at groping as part of their culture - as a guy thing. The men's attitude/mentality would be 'it's just touching, the woman was'nt hurt.' 

This is made worse in a male dominated society where women have a low status. Should any women complain to the authorities, which are all men, they are discouraged from filing complaints with the same excuse as above, or worse, being accused of enticing the men.
That said, it did not prevent me going into India that many times nor have Indian male friends with whom I eat and drink with and even traveled with. 
 
My ayurvedic masseur is an endearing old Indian gent who loves a good chatter when he's giving me a massage - yes, on my body too - his son is my ayurvedic doctor. From what I can tell, I'm the only female massaged by him - I have no hang-ups - the rest, nearly all Indian ladies, wait in line for his wife.

My postings on my Indian experiences have been positive but let's not kid ourselves - that dosen't mean there's nothing negative to report on the place or its people.
 
Nowhere did I sing the praises of China or its people, I'm Singaporean not mainland Chinese. I will never refer to China or Malaysia as 'motherland' - there's no emotional attachment to the 2 countries. The word is as archaic as 'freedom fighter.'