52. MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THESE

My playground on this trip - Uttar Pradesh state where I moved between Delhi, Lucknow and Gorakphur

My Indian kids kept me grounded, these pictures are what I have of them. I left them with a heavy heart as I know I will not come this way again. I gave them a set of pictures and through the years, these will be what we will remember one another by until, hopefully, they will learn how to keep in touch through snail mail or the email. They might just be like other young people I wrote about in my recent posts - their guardians are conformists and highly conditioned, with no exposure to new thinking, new ways of doing things.

But they're street kids with no real families, so who cares? I care.

51. THE SIKH ROUTE

Where all the action is on this trip - Lucknow - capital city of Uttar Pradesh state...

The highlight of my latest trip was befriending this wonderful Sikh family and their gentle giant of a dog. I was a guest in their lovely home during the Christmas holidays. Although they don't celebrate the occasion, they thought I might want some company being away from home and family...in the true spirit of Christmas. I got to meet their huge extended family and got an intimate peek at how terribly close knit they are and how they support one another's decisions, to the extent of putting pressure on their young people to marry by a certain age.

At every visit, they plied me with food and chai, I guess perhaps to make up for the lack of conversation between the adults and myself, while the younger ones acted as interpreters. But really, it's their wonderful hospitality. I was quite sure I was in danger of leaving the country with excess baggage around my middle, looking like an aloo - a potato - or worse, a panii puri - round and greasy.

I extended an invitation to the young people to be my house guests in Singapore. We had some wonderful chit chats, the youngsters and I, the nicest compliment was, one told her parents she could talk to me in a way she could'nt talk to them. That sounds a lot like my daughters - the generation gap is everywhere!























Hi Love, if you're reading this, more pictures will follow once I get that last roll organised!

50. ALONE BUT NOT LONELY

My kids will miss me and I, them. Perhaps sometime somewhere, we might meet again and they will be all grown up and I hope, successful in their own ways.
I can only pray that their mean-spirited guardian will be replaced by a more humane one.





 












My little Puja - will I ever see her again?

3 months in wintry, foggy conditions in Delhi and Lucknow and elsewhere in Uttar Pradesh and I'm just about had enough of the place and its people. Days are short so the minute it gets dark, respectable folks lock themselves at home behind high walls and gates.

It's dangerous at night. Groups of youths prowl the streets and city malls. They can't date, it's one of those societies, so imagine the pent-up emotions. Like marauding feral packs, they hang out at street corners, circling mall corridors, generally making a nuisance of themselves - rowdy, childish. Those from monied families tear down the streets in cars and motorbikes, honking loudly. Boys as young as 14 drive around without licences, should they get caught, their parents bribe them out.

These youths, some others are at least in their late 20's are restless and destructive. Many get involved in fights and killings. Their dailies are filled with reports of murders most foul, kidnaps, sexual assaults not just by common ordinary folks but by important and well-known politicians, actors and/or their spoilt brat sons. When the fathers are that way, their sons inherit the sins of their fathers.

My experiences with the men I encountered out in the streets and with the auto and riksha wallahs and shopkeepers are xxx?!!fff##. If such a huge number of the local population can have so much negative traits and thought forms, imagine the energy that emanates from this place. 
 
I stay home most times as newly made friends were not allowed to go out till late, (meaning 8pm!) which on this trip, were chiefly young people in their teens and early 20's. Coming from a sociable and safe society like Singapore's I miss the interaction with my friends.

Families here have no circle of friends, no social life, just family interactions. The older folks live vicariously through their children. They have strong attachments, their control over the younger people make them feel powerful and useful. The extended family may be well and good but the younger educated ones are forced to conform and not question or even think for themselves.
 
Those who question too much too often are quickly shot down. I feel sorry for the youngsters. They share with me their dreams, aspirations, their innermost thoughts. They want to get out, see the world, experience life, assert their independence but are held back tightly by the control and dominance of their parents and assorted relatives, family businesses, inheritance and emotional blackmail. Forced to conform (read: obey) they are like products from the same template.

Once again, I find young people drawn to me and I to them. Through our chats I got to know the yawning chasm between the generations. As long as the status quo is maintained, the elders are happy. They are more concerned about what others are saying and thinking about them.

People here live a lot in self-denial. Families cover up for one another, bribe to keep mouths shut or hire someone to 'fix' things...so as to ensure every image projected is happy, wonderful, good.

I'll not be travelling this way again....time to move on.

Aloneness is the First Lesson of Love - Osho